The sun was warm against my skin as Kami and I strolled down the bustling streets, arms weighed down with bags from our latest retail therapy session. Spring had finally arrived, and with it came our need to shed the heavy weight of winter in favor of something lighter and more colorful, both in wardrobe and spirit. Our dresses fluttered in the soft breeze, mine a floral sundress that hugged my curves just right, and Kami’s a bright yellow romper that showcased her long legs. We’d paired our outfits with strappy sandals and oversized sunglasses, looking like the poster girls for carefree spring afternoons.

 

“I’m telling you,” Kami said with a grin, holding up a sparkling clutch, “this one screams ‘look at me, I’m rich and fabulous. destined for a princess' arm."

 

I laughed, unable to help the grin that split my face. “You’re not wrong. But you already have like fifty of those.”

 

She shrugged, unapologetic. “One more can’t hurt. Besides, it’s not just about the clutch. It’s about knowing I could buy it if I wanted to. You know?”

 

I did know. For two girls who’d grown up surrounded by privilege, retail therapy wasn’t just shopping—it was a way to burn off steam, to channel that unruly anger that threatened to bubble up if left unchecked. The kind that could make me feel Vanity creeping up from the shadows, waiting for her turn at the wheel. Not today, though. Today was ours.

 

We pushed through the glass doors of our favorite boutique, greeted by the familiar scent of lavender and leather. Kami wandered toward the dresses while I gravitated toward the jewelry display, fingers grazing over delicate chains and chunky statement pieces.

 

“Hey, this one would look killer with that blue dress you bought last week,” Kami called out, holding up a layered necklace with shimmering teal stones.

“Sold,” I said without a second thought. It was probably unnecessary—my jewelry box was already overflowing—but it felt good to treat myself. To indulge in something pretty and unnecessary. Kami’s face lit up with a smile, the kind that was impossible not to catch.

 

Once our arms were loaded down with new treasures, we left the boutique and made our way to the café on the corner. The outdoor seating was perfect for people-watching and showing off our new acquisitions, which was half the fun. We ordered salads and iced coffees, settling into our seats as the sun peeked through the trees overhead.

 

Kami was halfway through telling me about a dress she saw online when I spotted him—JR, her boyfriend. He moved through the crowd like a shadow, tall and imposing, his dark sunglasses masking any hint of emotion. The dragon tattoo snaked up the left side of his neck, a hint of danger against his otherwise relaxed demeanor. He wore his usual dark attire—faded jeans and a black T-shirt, understated and effortlessly intimidating.

 

“There he is,” Kami said, waving him over. JR nodded in our direction, his mouth lifting in the smallest hint of a smile as he approached. I couldn’t help but wonder what it was about him that made her light up like that—maybe it was the mystery, the sense that he was always one step ahead of everyone else.

 

“Ladies,” JR greeted, his voice low and quiet.

 

Kami wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Did you get your work done?”

He gave a curt nod. “Enough for today.”

 

I rolled my eyes playfully. “Work, huh? You mean prowling the dark web and hacking into places you shouldn’t?”

 

He didn’t respond, just smirked like he knew a thousand secrets I’d never guess. I couldn’t deny the appeal—there was something about JR that was equal parts unsettling and magnetic. Still, I wasn’t here to play detective. I just wanted a day where I didn’t have to think too hard.

 

The three of us took off down the street to an ice cream parlor, where JR bought us cones—chocolate for him and Kami, vanilla for me. As we wandered back out into the sunlit square, I couldn’t help but feel like a third wheel, trailing behind while Kami leaned into his side, whispering things that made him chuckle under his breath. It should’ve been fine—it was her boyfriend, after all—but I couldn’t help but feel that familiar ache.

 

Damon flashed through my mind, his easy smile and the way he used to wrap his arm around my shoulders like I was his whole world. I hadn’t seen him in months, and the emptiness was like a stone in my stomach, growing heavier with every day that passed. I shoved the thoughts away, forcing a smile as Kami made a joke about JR’s lack of ice cream etiquette.

 

After a few more stops—Kami dragging JR into a shoe store while I loitered outside, pretending to admire the planters on the sidewalk—I’d had enough. I mumbled something about needing to make a phone call and stepped away from the happy couple, finding a quiet bench near the edge of the square. I pulled out my phone, scrolling to Colton’s number, and hit call.

 

Straight to voicemail.

 

I bit my lip, telling myself it was nothing. Tried again. Same result.

 

The third time, when it went straight to voicemail yet again, I couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in my chest. I knew why he wasn’t answering. Kami had told me what I said to him the other night when I was not myself to remember—how I’d been mean, spiteful even. She wouldn’t tell me the details, just that it hadn’t been pretty, and I’d hurt him worse than I knew. My stomach twisted with guilt, and I took a deep breath before leaving a message.

 

“Hey, Colt,” I started, my voice a little shaky. “I just… I wanted to say I’m sorry. I don’t remember what I said that night, but Kami told me enough to know I hurt you, and God, that’s the last thing I ever wanted. You know I’d never do it on purpose, right? I just—whatever it was, I didn’t mean it. Please don’t hate me. I miss you. I love you.”

 

I hung up, feeling my throat tighten and my eyes prick with unshed tears. Hugging the bags closer to my side, I lowered myself onto the bench and let out a slow, unsteady breath. Around me, people went about their day—happy couples, families with their kids, laughter carried by the breeze. It all seemed so far away from the mess inside my head.

 

My phone stayed silent, no call back from Colton. I stared down at my hands, wondering how many people I’d hurt while I’d been wrapped up in my own chaos. Who else had I pushed away without realizing it?

 

A soft gust of wind ruffled my hair, and I closed my eyes, letting the sun warm my skin and trying to keep the creeping loneliness from swallowing me whole.

 

From behind me, I can hear the annoying sound of Kami's phone; the obnoxious sound of “You have a message bitch.” Pings in my ear.  She reaches over my shoulder, screen in my face.  It was a text from Colton. "Hey, where are you guys at?"  I nodded my head giving Kami permission to let him know, as if she wasn’t going to do it anyway.  In about ten minutes, Colton pulls up to the bench. He leaned over and pushed the passenger side door open.

 

 "Get in Crashie, and where is your side kick?"

 

Crashie"…That’s a name I haven’t heard in a very long time.

 

I smiled, looking towards the back seat of Colton's shiny blue toy, just hoping.. maybe,

 

 just maybe.....

 

*sigh* he wasn’t there..

 

It was a nice car, but I knew my brother, it did not have enough power under the hood like he liked. I remember the pieces of construction paper he would use, drawing out his dream car.  He and Billy swore to create a masterpiece one day.  We had such big dreams back then.

 

 I stuck my head inside before taking a seat.

 

 "Hey butthead," I said with a heartfelt grin.

 

 "She is in there, shopping with her boy toy."  I pointed behind me.

 

I wanted to jump inside, but I felt like I didn't belong in there.  Colton wasn't the type to just forgive and forget..not even with me.  I held my stance for a moment, reassuring myself it was ok.  I slid in slowly, placed my bags in the back seat and just stared at my brother, for what seemed like an hour, before finally closing the door.

 

I just sat there like a child being punished.

Colton gave a quick honk of the horn to signal Kami, then turned toward me with a smirk. "Looks like you kids have had a fruitful day shopping. You know, the money we made from the last match isn’t gonna last long if you keep blowing through it like this. We’ve got a match this Saturday night, you might wanna think about getting some training in before then. We just got the belts, and I’m not ready to give them up so soon."

 

Why was he avoiding my voice mail, was he really that upset at me, to not even acknowledge it?  I let out a sigh, I nodded my head.

 

 "You're right."

 

 I left it short and to the point.  I did not want to force a conversation he wasn't willing to give me.

 

Colton gave the horn another quick honk as Kami finally rounded the corner, bags swinging from her arms and a grin on her face.

 

 I turned and looked at Kami, as she stepped up to the window.  I think Colton was waiting for her to get in, so he wouldn't have to be alone with me.  She stuck her head inside.

 

 "I'm going to walk back to the apartment with JR.” 

 

She looked at me, as though she did not want to be a part of any sibling rivalry.  I widened my eyes to her as if to say, don't leave me alone with him, but she smiled, and tapped my shoulder.

 

"You guys play nice now."

 

She cut her eyes over to Colton, who just huffed and rolled up the window as she stepped away from the car.

 

I just sat there, quiet, almost scared to exhale.  Colton had one certain thing in common with our dad: his temper.  Now that I was stuck in this car with my bags in the back, I feared the worst was yet to come.

 

Colton drove off, and as he did, he pulled out his phone and pushed a button.  Out of nowhere, I heard my own voice—raspy and broken—coming from the car speakers.

 

My stomach dropped as I realized he was playing my voicemail. One after another, my words poured out, raw and shaky, full of regret and hurt. I could feel my cheeks burning, and I couldn’t look at him. When the message ended, silence fell heavy between us.

 

Colton put his phone away and glanced over at me, his expression unreadable.

 

"Well," he said finally, his voice low and firm. "You got something to say?"

 

My mouth felt dry, and I struggled to find the right words, but nothing seemed good enough to fix it.

 

I wanted to smile, because I knew he had listened to it earlier and still decided to come, but I held back.  I turned my head to face him, it wasn't easy, but it was necessary.

 

I took a deep breath.

 

Here it goes...

 

"I am truly sorry, Colton.  I don't know what is wrong with me.  I'm losing my mind, my memory of events.  That match, the other day, that wasn't me.  I can't explain it, but ever since I woke up in the hospital bed, I seem to have lost a lot of time… a lot of my memory.  I remember you being in the next bed beside me in that hospital, bruised and broken, but when I asked mom what happened, she said we were in an accident.  I don't remember it.  do you?"  I don't understand how, or why I am getting so angry now.  It’s like I have a strong urge to see someone suffer.

 

Colton just stared straight ahead. "I don't really know much either, I remember the hospital, but not how we got there."

 

He gripped the steering wheel tighter while his knuckles turned white.

 

"As for the fight we had, I am just going to say it was stress. We have been training a lot for the big match, and we had a lot of pressure on us, so it is all good now."

 

It felt like Colton was hiding something the way he gripped the wheel.  He was either still very angry at me and hiding it, or there was something more.

 

I wasn't going to poke the bear, not with this match we have coming up.  Colton was right, we had both been training hard for that match.  It was more than just bringing home the gold, it was proving to the folks, we were worthy of the New Breed name.

 

I wasn't going to blow it again, not this time.. I need to stay focused, put the events behind me...behind us. 

 

We were Champions now, and the entire tag division would be gunning for us.

 

I formed a smile upon my face, maybe if I loosened up, the tension I felt would ease away, I was about to do something daring..

 

something foolish,

 

something playful. 

 

I took my left hand, I was holding back a smile, I lifted it up as though I was brushing my hair with my fingers.

 

 Colton's focus was on the road, not my hand.  I quickly…

 

so ninja like...

 

slapped my palm directly unto his right calf!

 

 -smack-

 

and I gripped his thigh tight. 

 

"Wanna get a burger?"  I smiled and stuck my tongue out at him.

 

His knee jerk reflex caused a bump to his steering wheel and a loud obscenity to slip out of his mouth.  He turned to me with a dead cold stare, as if I was the prey inside his locked jowls and reached up with the palm of his hand and smacked me on the forehead.

 

not hard,

 

Just a Hurst style love tap.

 

As we continued to drive down the street, he slowed down and pulled into a Whataburger.

 

WHATABURGER!!!

 

We pull into the drive thru and he orders.

 

We pull out and he grabs a burger from the bag, takes a big bite of it and washes it down with some sweet tea.

 

The way he looked at me.... "Damn this is good, too bad you didn't order anything to eat."

 

I just shook my head, what else was I going to do.  I rubbed my forehead, and sat watching him scarf down that double cheeseburger! 

 

With his final bite, he looked at me with a devilish grin.  What he didn't realize until he took his last swallow...

 

he's lifting the cup from its holder…

 

and "oops". 

 

I looked at him with a grin. 

 

The cup was empty.